Getting Closer to God

After that Saint Rafqa has left her parental house for the convent of the Mariamites, she knew quietness and peace. Her aim was to see God, but in order to see him she had to die. This death was first of all the renouncement of everything that had to do with the world, including the good and bad things of life. 

A picture of Saint Rafqa
during her young age

The one that she has chosen as a unique subject for her love and her life, has remained in her as he has promised her (John 15:4), he separated her from everything even from her own self. 

God was revealing himself to Rafqa through the difficulties and pains of life, just as he revealed himself in the bush in front of Moses. That bush, that flame, the mighty God who is present and who is revealing his presence in the ardent bush for Moses, was for Boutrossiyé revealing himself in a bush full of thorns and rigor. But this bush was also full of divine and perfect love for the girl who listened to the call. Her soul returned a pure and perfect love to God through the thorns and difficulties. 

The difficulties that Boutrossiyé endured during her life, just as Moses did, were a preparation for her for the big and serious matters. God started the law with thorns, he started the grace with thorns, and concluded everything on the cross. Therefore thorns and cross are proper things to the grace and love of Jesus. 

“The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of” (revelation 12:6), that was the behavior of young Boutrossiyé who separated herself from her parents, friends and people, leaving everything that had to do with this world.

The Unique Necessary

Saint Rafqa knew very well that Jesus deserved that she leaves everything to follow him and earn eternal life in his name, that is why she left everything that had to do with this life with her own will and spirit. She often said:”Lord, no one nor anything in this world can separate me from you”, her call was beyond any worldly influence.

A general view of the town of Bikfaya where Saint Rafqa spent
her first years of Novitiate.

According to her testimony in 1912, Saint Rafqa said:”When my father realized that I left home to join the monastery, he came along with his wife to ask for me back from my superior and to bring me back home. The novices’ mistress informed me of his arrival saying: your father and mother are here at the convent to bring you back home. I answered her: I would prefer that my mother takes me rather than leaving the convent. The mistress was surprised with my words and said: how is that? I told her: my mother has died and the woman with my father is his wife, and I urged her to relieve me from seeing them. She accepted and they left saddened. Since then, I never saw them again during my religious life.”

Rafqa’s heart was oriented towards the true life and the real treasure. Divine love has consumed all links that attached her to this world and which made her leave her paternal home. All her life she lived in this detachment.

This Divine election has made the ultimate joy and contentment for Boutrossiyé, and they were unalterable. She was developing a deep attachment to the Most High. Since her admission to the convent she was obsessed by the thought: He wanted me for Him.

She shared with Saint Bernard his saying:” I am dead with regards to everything; I only live for the matters of Jesus Christ and can only act according to them.” It was the final goodbye to her parents and to this world, her divine desire was filling her heart and soul. Rafqa knew that there was need of only one thing, she has chosen the better part, and it was never taken away from her.

You Shall Become A Religious

This is how Saint Rafqa told the story of how she joined the religious order in Bikfaya:” I went to the convent of Our Lady of deliverance in Bikfaya which belonged to the Mariamite sisters. On my way, I crossed three girls and I told them: I am going to the convent of Our Lady of deliverance to become a religious, would you like to come with me? Two of them answered positively and the third said: when I find out that you have persevered at the convent, I will follow you.”

“Then all three of us headed for the convent. When I entered the church, I felt a great joy and interior satisfaction. When I looked at the picture of Our Lady I heard a voice coming from her that went directly into my conscience saying: You shall become a religious.”

Miraculous icon of
Our Lady of deliverance
Bikfaya

“Then I asked to see the superior mother to tell her about our decision to become nuns. When she came to see us I prayed her to accept me at the convent. The other two girls accompanying me did the same. The superior took me by the hand and walked me inside the convent without asking me anything. Then she looked at the two other girls and said: you will return later to the convent and you will be accepted. When they heard the words of the superior they told me: you are blessed to be accepted at the convent.”

“As for me, I was impressed to see the superior mother accepting my supplication without asking me anything. I attributed this to Our Lady of deliverance whom I saw the picture inside the church.”

The Most High has fulfilled the young girl’s desires. The Lord has demonstrated one more time that human beings are not toys or objects of destiny. Every human being is conducted by God who has a magnificent plan for each person, provided that people have ears to listen and eyes to see.

Boutrossiyé Al Rayess understood that she was a blessed girl, she realized that she was a sheep of the Good Shepherd. She gave herself completely to providence and to the living source of love and life.